We have all experienced life and we all have a personal story worth sharing.
In 2019 Discover Your Bounce held a hackathon event in Bristol to attract people who wanted to talk about mental health. 70 people turned up. We asked questions around the lived experience of people seeking help for themselves and others when it came to mental health. We explored the changes they wanted to see and what they would be willing to do themselves to bring about change.
Three key messages arose:
- We needed a wider education around mental health and wellbeing in our community
- We needed the opportunity to share lessons learned and stories
- We needed to educate employers so they implement effective wellbeing strategies.
Looking at the first two objectives, in 2020 we set about playing our part in making a difference to mental health in Bristol and beyond and our Social Passion Project was born. We looked at the impact of sharing stories to educate people on how it feels to have a life challenge and how people have bounced back. We brought 24 people together to share their personal stories of bouncing back from adversity in a book called The Bounce Back Journey. These stories shared the positive outcomes of lived experience; people shared everything from overcoming the death of a partner, bankruptcy, racism, the pain of knowing you will never be a parent and the impact of having a stroke. We wanted to shine a light on the human experience and celebrate it, so that people felt less alone and also to counteract the ‘normal’ shiny view we see on social media of how everyone is having a great life.
“Everyone has a story or a struggle that will break your heart. And if we’re really paying attention, most people have a story that will bring us to our knees.” Brené Brown
We proudly had a book launch two weeks before the first Covid lockdown in the UK. Little did we know what lay ahead, or that this was the first of five books and that over 100 people would share intimate aspects of their lives.
As an editing team we also shared our stories and coached and supported the rest of the authors to share theirs. What we discovered is that there is a tangible impact of sharing your story both on you as a story teller, but also on those who read your story and on the wider community in which we live.
Three reasons to share your personal story
1 . Cathartic responses and understanding yourself better
Research into the impact of storytelling on the individual, shows that expressive writing can help us deal with traumatic events. It can help the writer to identify and challenge unhelpful narratives, from the safety of the place you now reside.
When was the last time you took a look at yourself and gave yourself a pat on the back? Realising that you have overcome so much, allows you to reflect and let go of the past from a safe distance. It also allows for discussion and insight. Both for the writer and the reader.
My experience of writing about my struggles at school left me in tears. These were tears I hadn’t shed as a teenager, but in doing so now I have been able to let it go and see it as a step in my success, not as a barrier. I can see how many positive things in my life came about because if it. I doubt I would have found my accountancy career via ACCA without the start I had in life, this is the cornerstone of every business I have owned and because of it I have a global friendship group.
Chatting to our authors, we often heard how people had light bulb moments when reflecting on their story and they finally let go of their past in a very tangible way. Allowing people to see you and celebrate your scars can feel vulnerable but it is also wonderfully liberating. It reaffirms your values. Once you publicly own your story, it says, “That was me and I’m still here.”
I am also reminded of this quote by Brené Brown,
I feel humbled knowing that 100 people have shared their stories with the world and trusted us to honour their words and their experience.
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Growing empathy in our communities
“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.” Brené Brown
Many stories remain unsaid due to shame. Throwing a light on shame forms connections, taps into our humanness and grows understanding and empathy in our community. Our Western world can feel judgemental and exclusive. In these Instagram days of perfection, where apparently no-one is struggling day to day, we can feel like we have failed at life. Crying because your baby keeps crying and as a new parent you don’t know what to do next is normal. Sharing allows it to be seen as normal and shows a pathway through. Writing about it has the ability to create a thousand connections which bring people together through common experience. It also draws people closer who haven’t had that experience but can access that experience through your words. Seeing the humanity of another reduces our judgement and increases our empathy.
One of our authors shared his experience of depression and suicidal thoughts. A copy of that book was given to a family member who approached him and said, “Me too”. They had never shared this connection before and that connection is priceless.
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It educates by way of the oldest tradition
Stories give a context to a concept and bring it to life in an accessible way.
From our ancestors story telling around the campfire to parables in the bible, story telling has given us a way of throwing light on a situation or issue and showing us how we can resolve it. For thousands of years it is how we as humans survived. It was how we passed on our knowledge. Reading about the life of another is incredibly popular, which is why famous people write their autobiographies. We get curious as to how that footballer was spotted and how they got their first break.
“You honor life by sharing your story. You honor life by recognizing those stories that mean something to you, and you carry on people’s values, stories, and lives by sharing.”
When sharing stories in these books, our authors often recognised their knowledge gained on a topic in a way they hadn’t realised previously. Some of our authors have used these books to fund-raise for charities linked to their story, or their recovery and as an extra resource when talking about their subject.
This is the kind of win-win we love!
Finally, I saw a great quote in an article by Brendon Burchard.
“You don’t experience what you experience for you. You experience it for others.”
I feel this gives an added dimension to our collective lives. It suggests that by sharing our stories we are adding to the collective knowledge that makes everyone safer and that we experience it for a reason. That reason is to give hope and understanding to everyone. It makes us all stronger, more connected to each other and less alone.
“You never know when one of your stories will serve as the catalyst for someone else to keep going.” Donny Osmond
You can download our books on Kindle or buy them on Amazon. Profits from these books support the Social Passion Project and provide free monthly wellbeing workshops. Take a look are our books and our events.
If you are interesting in the Social Passion Project we have an annual update
Hear from our authors of The Bounce Back Journey in our new podcast.
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