Stress and burnout is on the rise…
“I’m stressed!”
How often do we hear these words? It can mean something exciting and energetic, or the start of a downhill slide. Those two words can be worn as a badge of honour, or they could mean that in our state of fight or flight we just want someone to go away.
It can be hard to spot when stress starts, and usually the person suffering is the last person to spot it. I know myself that when I realise I’m stressed, I can track back at least a few weeks to pinpoint when it started. In really challenging times, for example after the death of my grandfather, I didn’t realise I was carrying stress until 18 months later, when a crushing, 14-week migraine came to stay. At the time when my grandfather had passed away, I had a 2-year-old and a 4-week-old baby and had jumped into the ‘I’m Fine!’ mode of life, pushing my grief to one side.
Here’s the thing, when we ‘keep calm and carry on’ our body still carries that stress. We can try to appear as if it’s business as usual, but over time our behaviours and physical health start to change.
Behaviours
When we are under stress, our brain can get hyper-focused on what it perceives needs to happen. So, someone can get fixated on a deadline and can even get aggressive, when usually they are placid and laid back. You may notice someone skipping lunch, staying late and when you speak to them, they only talk about what needs to happen.
The chattiest person can go quiet. The softly spoken, quiet person may shout. Someone who always attends office socials may suddenly decline. The changes may be slow or rapid, depending on the severity of the stressful situation.
Physical Appearance
Someone may rapidly gain or lose weight as their appetite changes. If someone is struggling to sleep, they may suddenly be forgetful and vague when they are normally detailed and organised.
When stressed, I dress head to toe in black, when I usually wear bright colours. Someone who dresses casually may suddenly dress in a suit – armour to disguise how they feel. Or someone may lose the care over their appearance as they are distracted by their challenge.
Health Challenges
Stress affects the brain and gut as both are linked…ever get butterflies or feel sick when you are excited? Our gastrointestinal tract is sensitive to emotion, so a gut reaction can send signals to the brain and a troubled brain send signals to the gut. We have almost as many neurons in our gut as in our brain.
IBS, Colitis and Crohn’s Disease are all exacerbated by stress.
Migraines, period and menopausal issues, back pain and most other conditions can be made worse by stress. If someone has more time off for any of these conditions, it is worth considering whether something stressful – at home or at work – is having an effect.
When we are also busy it can be easy to get frustrated with the presenting behaviour, rather than pondering whether this is a new thing. If you notice any of the above, it is worth considering whether stress is playing a part in the recent changes.
Too much or too little?
It’s good to know the difference between stress and burnout. Stress can be too much – too many working hours, too much activity, too much to do. Burnout can show up as too little, someone can become quiet, become lethargic and inactive, or not get enthusiastic about anything.
If someone has moved from stress into burnout, their recovery make take longer, or they may leave the organisation, leaving you with a skills gap. Here are some steps to take to prevent that occurring.
How can you help and support someone?
When someone is struggling, it can be hard for them to raise this issue. Perhaps they are feeling guilty or ashamed of how they are feeling, or they may worry that they could lose their job. When we are under stress our brain immediately jumps to the worst-case scenario as we are in a ‘fight or flight’ state.
Often when we check in and ask if they are ok, their first reaction will be that all is well. That’s why the ‘ask twice’ campaign worked so well. If we can gently say that we have noticed they are working more or not feeling well and wanted to offer our help, this may be the start of a lovely conversation.
Make time for this conversation when they are alone and maybe after a brief chat make time for a longer conversation. Check that they are talking to someone, at home or a GP or mentor and if not signpost appropriately. If stress levels are due to a short-term issue like moving house or a new job it could be that just talking it through with you will be enough. For a mental health challenge, or something that is ongoing and severely affecting them you may need more meetings, additional support, and a wellbeing action plan.
In our hour of need, it can be such a relief to know that someone has our back. To notice and respond when someone is struggling can be so rewarding but it can feel daunting to step into this space.
Creating a workplace that feels psychologically safe, where employees able to bring their whole self to the office, where someone can speak out when in distress, is a rewarding endeavour indeed and we can all make a difference. It all starts with a human-to-human conversation and a genuine interest in people not tasks. “How can I help?” or “What do you need?” can be the two questions that make all the difference.
We would love to present our new workshop on Leadership Burnout to your team, book a call: www.bit.ly/bookacallwithnicky.
If you like this blog you might like to read Six Powerful Benefits of Mindfulness and Meditation
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