Have you ever been on a solo date night? This was a question I posed myself recently when I travelled to Madrid on my own. What would a solo date look like?
Firstly, I was only in Madrid for three nights. The first night I arrived late at the hotel and it would have been easy to stay in my room and watch tv on my iPad. But I wanted to be there and be present – not in an anonymous hotel which could be anywhere. So I changed my top, brushed my hair, grabbed a book and headed to the bar. I chose an evening with a book by Alexander McCall Smith, ‘The Private Life of Spies.’
I had fun. Reading and laughing out loud then trying to explain and mime in Spanglish to a barman about what was so funny.
What I noticed is that all the decisions were mine alone. Timing of a bar snack, what to drink, who to message on my phone. Don’t get me wrong, it’s really wonderful to spend time with others – but my solo date nights and date lunches are special too.
Sometimes I people watch, sometimes I am inspired to write, sometimes I read or listen to music. The freedom to choose and change my mind isn’t something I always choose in relationships as I tend to fit in to make others comfortable. This has life affirming outcomes too. But a solo date is about spending time with my own company, and where I am a priority.
Tips for a fun solo date
1. Be open to sharing
Whether it’s your lunch table, bench seat or a smile. Be open to sharing your experience with others. Chance conversations can be fun and insightful. I once shared a bench with a lady who, like me, wanted to be there for the peace. We both meditated and didn’t speak. When she left we smiled at each and nodded. A common experience of sharing space, no words needed. I have also sat at communal tables in restaurants and had a chat with a stranger.
2. Not all that wander are lost…
In our busy lives we can miss out on the wonder that is life. Walk more slowly and really look around, drink in the sights. Look up! Try mindful walking to be present in the space. Check out our mindful walking blog
3. Try something new
Do you have fun on your to do list? Create a list of things you would like to do, see or experience. Go in search of opportunities to tick things off of your list. Give yourself something to look forward to and put it in your diary.
Ten ideas for a solo date
- Visit the park, the seaside, or a nature reserve
- Have a drive to somewhere new such as a gallery or museum
- Watch the stars!
- Make time for a spa at home, paint your toenails, have a bath and treat yourself to a face mask
- Create a sanctuary at home
- Check out free events and festivals in your area
- Go on a photographic walk, where haven’t you been for a while?
- Boxset binge your favourite series
- Try a meditation or mindfulness exercise in a peaceful or inspirational place
- Sing! Visit an open mic night and get involved, or sit and listen
A solo date night is an opportunity for me to put myself first, second and third. It took a bit of practice, but I appreciate these moments and plan for them when I can. Where and when will your solo date night be?
if you like this blog you may like our blogs on happiness and creativity
6 Ideas to bring more hygge into your life
Sharing is caring!
