You’ll be crying in a minute! – Guest Blog by Slow Coach Sarah

Our latest guest blog is from Sarah Thayer. She has a deep passion and commitment to her own personal development, having invested in a range of training and personal development over the course of 20+ years, including NLP, Coaching and holistic health & wellbeing training. She is also a qualified and experienced Counsellor.

Our eyes used to roll when we heard our mother call this out to us as children when my siblings and I laughed for ‘too long’ and ‘too hard’ about things that probably irritated the worn-out adults.

Most of us recognise that phrase – in some guise or other – as over-exerted children having ‘too much fun’ when the adults just needed us to focus on something we considered mundane or unnecessary.

It’s time to bin-off those outdated beliefs and start living and laughing as much as you like!

Laughing always ends in tears!

So say the well-meaning adults, who would rather not deal with the aftermath they project into their own impending timelines when they see playing children getting over-excited.

As I have been laughing a lot more lately and really enjoying my life, I started to wonder why the majority of people never take a long, hard look at their lives as it is now – to explore those ‘well-meaning’ phrases that we all know and remember.

Or even take a short, soft fleeting-glance at their adult-lives they are living now.

But of course, looking at our lives as they are now, involves self-reflection.

It involves questioning and asking what we like, what we don’t like, what we want and what we don’t want.

Looking at how we got here, what we can change, what we can’t, what we regret, what we dream for and how we feel about all of that.

Then, too perhaps deciding to choose and create a different future. And that, of course, takes courage!

Also, commitment. A commitment to ourselves and taking responsibility for our own lives.

It may be one small step towards thinking new and positive thoughts or it could be a giant leap away from an old routine, person, place or unrewarding relationship or career.

Does all of that sound like fun to you?

I thought not!  It can feel daunting just thinking about taking a look at ourselves, our feelings, our lives, and our choices – and then believing that making changes will give us the life that we really want.

I doubted for years that any real change I was making towards what I really wanted was making any significant difference. But all the inner-work I did year-on-year has gradually paid off. I used to berate myself when I kept wanting more. But then I noticed another phrase pop up.  ‘You’re never satisfied!’  Something I had heard from a young age if I ‘complained’ too much.  So, off I had gone, internalizing that ol’ chestnut, too.

Of course, it’s not just us that can be affected when we decide to take an honest look at our lives.  What about the impact on those around us? Those we love?

What if they don’t approve? Or like what we like, or want what we want, or love us now that we’ve changed?

What if they reject or even outright abandon us?

Yup. You’ve got it. It can be terrifying.  Which is why most people decide to ‘let sleeping dogs lie’. They don’t go there. Instead, they stick with their hyper-exciting, addictive lifestyle, lead a moderately, mediocre life, or even just survive in their silently disheartened way.

I’ve noticed that fear is the one, big feeling we are all addicted to.

We all know that FEAR is actually False Evidence Appearing Real, but it’s the real part we’ve mostly signed up for. Unconsciously of course. When we heard those authoritative voices telling us that having ‘too much’ of anything– fun, joy, laughter (fill in your own blank) was bad for us – we began tempering our desires from a very early age. Building a ‘realistic’ life, not an aspirational one.

This means that when we hear those voices in our heads now, what we’re really re-experiencing is just the memory of those authority-figures who wanted to ward us off anticipating great expectations from life.

Those figures who may have wanted to just protect us from living a life much greater than theirs or a life of fantasy or grandiose thinking.

After all, life is no bed of roses, right? Money doesn’t grow on trees?  And the sun only shines on the righteous, doesn’t it?

What matters most is that we examine these well-meaning quotes, phrases and superstitious sayings when they appear.

Weed them out if they don’t fit with who we believe we are today.  Even laugh at them a little (just not too much, remember!)

When we look these phrases in the eye and see them for what they are – or say them out loud in the mirror at ourselves – and hear instead, what we really want to say back to them – the old, outdated beliefs that belonged to other people can easily drop away.

And it’s then that we can replace them with new, more fitting statements, which we now believe for ourselves.

Ask yourself

In what ways are you living today according to those ‘well-meaning voices?’

Which ones make you laugh now, as you realise you’re still believing them – or living according to ‘their wisdom’ – in everyday life?

What can you ‘never have too much of’ today?

Today, I tell myself that I can laugh as much as I like and it won’t necessarily end in tears…. (unless I’m really enjoying myself of course!)

Remember, Your Authentic Life Matters!

www.slowcoachsarah.co.uk

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About The Author

Alexandra Stumpp

A 2019 graduate of German from the Univeristy of Bristol, Alex is the Events and Marketing Assistant for Discover Your Bounce. She joined the team in March 2019 as an Intern and is now a full-time employee. Her expertise is the study of cultures and languages. Being half Swiss and through her studies she speaks fluent German.